Nancy Werking Poling

Let’s talk about sex

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by

Nancy Werking Poling
in

“In case you’re curious,” I once told the grandchildren, “Granddaddy and I have never had sex on the dining room table.” 

“Nana!” they shouted in embarrassment.

I thought it important for them to know that sex between loving adults is not expressed in a frenzy of the aggressiveness they see on HBO or Netflix.

Book censors believe it’s their responsibility to remove books with sexually explicit content. But I’d wager that in the past month far more kids have watched a movie or series on their phone or iPad than have read a book. What are they seeing? Plenty of what those who censor books think they’re protecting our youth from: sexually explicit content.

My husband, Jim, and I regularly watch movies and series on Netflix, Apple, or PBS. Whether comedy, mystery, or international intrigue, sex is usually part of the story. We can predict early in the drama that the male and female detectives, or the co-workers in a hardware store, or the spy and the spy chaser, will end up having a sexual encounter. It will not be gentle and loving sex but urgent and aggressive, often against a wall, clothes torn off, the insistent clutching of buttocks, mouths moving downward, plenty of groaning. Some of the sexual encounters are lengthy and in great detail. Not much is left to the imagination. 

What do such scenes convey to our youth? They tell males that if they want sex, all they have to do is pin a woman to a wall. Females learn that they too should want aggressive sex. The message to young people is that sex is a biological drive that must be acted upon. Immediately. 

I’m not referring to pornography. That too is easily available to our youth. They only need to do a google search.

So why aren’t censors who have such a concern about what our children read not attacking the entertainment industry? It’s easier to target their local librarians and teachers, who have little power, than Warner Brothers, owner of HBO.

Or maybe I’m just a prudish old lady.

Comments

9 responses to “Let’s talk about sex”

  1. Judy Williams Avatar
    Judy Williams

    Many parents feel very little control over what their kids are exposed to, especially on the internet. They believe that eliminating books from libraries gives them some control in a sea of exposures to things they don’t want their kids to learn or think about at a certain age, or EVER. And yes, making someone else responsible for what their children may have available to read may help them feel some control (Power) . The cost in time, money, and personal risk is much greater if you’re challenging Warner Brothers.
    And it isn’t all about sex, is it? What about parents who find that some of these books are helpful in preparing their children for puberty, for making decisions that might “go against the crowd”, for having courage in the face of adversity? Some parents find that talking with their kids about these books can open lines of communication, the very thing we say we want when our children are constantly on their phones, often behind a closed door.

    Reply
    1. Nancy Werking Poling Avatar
      Nancy Werking Poling

      Very eloquently stated, Judy. I’m concerned, though, with how few parents have time/take time to have such conversations with their kids.

      Reply
  2. Verna Todd Avatar
    Verna Todd

    Such a good point, Nancy! And no, you’re not a prudish old lady.

    Reply
    1. Nancy Werking Poling Avatar
      Nancy Werking Poling

      Thanks for responding, Verna. I’ll bet you’re too busy with your photography/art to waste time on movies.

      Reply
      1. Verna Todd Avatar
        Verna Todd

        Actually, Steve and I spend an hour each evening streaming an episode of some series or other. It’s our R&R time. Best hour of the day.

  3. Jeanne Charters Avatar
    Jeanne Charters

    Never on the table, Nancy? Me neither. Cause I’d be the one having to clean up the gravy. Much too tired.

    This book banning garbage is just one more
    fascist attempt to appear righteous and holier than thou. I wish I could understand the minds of these people, but I fear that will never happen. Just wish they would care about all the lesser thans on the planet rather than proselytizing on their superior morality. Get a life, Repugnicans!

    Reply
    1. Nancy Werking Poling Avatar
      Nancy Werking Poling

      Like you, I question the “superior morality” of any who have little regard for those who suffer from financial deprivation or social stigma.

      Reply
  4. Roberta Binder Avatar
    Roberta Binder

    I couldn’t agree with you more Nancy. And I don’t think you are a prudish elder. Book banning is cruel and insulting to everyone. Some of my friends say I was born with a book in my hands…today my motto is “Have Kindle Will Travel. In my youth, I completed reading EVERY book in the children’s floor of our local library. As a result I was given permission to go to the ‘adult book world’ upstairs. Books enable wisdom and personal growth. And you are correct children today can learn more in living color on many forms of media.

    Reply
    1. Nancy Werking Poling Avatar
      Nancy Werking Poling

      Roberta, your experience reminds me of my own pleasant memories when I walked three blocks to the library branch and returned home with an armload of books. Then I’d disappear into my bedroom. Thanks for responding to my blog.

      Reply

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